Chasing Youth

I went back to Ohio
but my city was gone…

Chrissie Hynde- 1982

Nothing stays the same in life.  About the only thing I am confident in guaranteeing is that eventually all things will change.  And so it was with my running group.  I returned after a couple of months to find that I was a little bit slower and they had become a little bit faster.  It was necessary to change groups to the next one down.

Fortunately, this new group was filled with good eggs.  People that, like myself, had either run a fall marathon or were coming off of an injury and so were slightly less fit or fast as they used to be.  This group skews towards the 40-year-old and up demographic; some of us are married

Mixed in with the group this week, however, were the Nursery Rhyme Kids, Jack and Jill.  No, really ….Jack and Jill.  The Nursery Rhyme Kids are still in their twenties.  Naturally, the conversation goes towards how all of us old dudes will never be able to keep up with that youth.  At first, we mention how we were pretty much out of college before they were even born.  Then, being the group that we are, we discuss how this will be good opportunity for the cougars and manthers  in the group  to practice chasing their prey.

They might have the energy but we have the experience.  We can not catch them.  Some day they will be old too.  Perhaps by then they will know the right answer to our question.

“Hey kids…does this rag smell like chloroform to you…?”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I have a new want.  I was driving last week after dark and as I was about to turn on to my street, my headlights caught a runner’s reflective jacket.  This jacket lit up like it was the moon!  The guy really looked like the dude in this picture.

This is the Nike Vapor Flash Jacket.  It has glass spheres built into the jacket that reflect the light.   It retails for $350 so it will not be visiting my closet anytime soon but I still thought it was really cool.  Not that I like to draw attention to myself when I am running or anything…

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Trying to mix things up these days.  The running has become “lower” mileage and I’m trying to get to the gym.  I read an article where they have come up with a program that can train you to do 50 pullups in a row after 7 weeks.  Now that would be a challenge so I am going to try it.  I’d be happy to just reach half that much.  Will it help my running?  Unlikely.  So for those that ask “why?”, I answer “why not?”  If I am successful, maybe I will brag about it some day.  If not, then obviously I would never bring it up again.

I read this article in the Wall Street Journal and I found it amusing.  Y’know…cuz like now I’m all gym rat and junk…

The 27 Rules of Conquering the Gym

• By JASON GAY

Everett Collection

Jerry Lewis in “Cinderfella”

This is the time of year when even people who hate the gym think about going to the gym. Many of us are still digesting whole floors of gingerbread houses, and jeans that fit comfortably in October are now a denim humiliation.

Sweating is a good way to begin 2012. Exercise, like dark chocolate and office meetings that suddenly get canceled, is a proven pathway to nirvana. But if you’re going to join a gym—or returning to the gym after a long hibernation—consider the following:

1. A gym is not designed to make you feel instantly better about yourself. If a gym wanted to make you feel instantly better about yourself, it would be a bar.

2. Give yourself a goal. Maybe you want to lose 10 pounds. Maybe you want to quarterback the New York Jets into the playoffs. But be warned: Losing 10 pounds is hard.

The New Year’s push to lose weight is bringing crowds to gyms. Jason Gay offers tips to conquering the gym. Photo: Getty Images.

3. Develop a gym routine. Try to go at least three times a week. Do a mix of strength training and cardiovascular conditioning. After the third week, stop carrying around that satchel of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.

4. No one in the history of gyms has ever lost a pound while reading “The New Yorker” and slowly pedaling a recumbent bicycle. No one.

5. Bring your iPod. Don’t borrow the disgusting gym headphones, or use the sad plastic radio attachment on the treadmill, which always sounds like it’s playing Kenny Loggins from a sewer.

6. Don’t fall for gimmicks. The only tried-and-true method to lose 10 pounds in 48 hours is food poisoning.

7. Yes, every gym has an overenthusiastic spinning instructor who hasn’t bought a record since “Walking on Sunshine.”

8. There’s also the Strange Guy Who is Always at the Gym. Just when you think he isn’t here today…there he is, lurking by the barbells.

9. ”Great job!” is trainer-speak for “It’s not polite for me to laugh at you.”

10. Beware a hip gym with a Wilco step class.

11. Gyms have two types of members: Members who wipe down the machines after using them, and the worst people in the universe.

12. Nope, that’s not a “recovery energy bar with antioxidant dark chocolate.” That’s a chocolate bar.

13. Avoid Unsolicited Advice Guy, who, for the small fee of boring you to death, will explain the proper method for any exercise in 45 minutes or longer.

14. You can take 10 Minute Abs, 20 Minute Abs, and 30 Minute Abs. There is also Stop Eating Pizza and Eating Sheet Cake Abs—but that’s super tough!

15. If you’re motivated to buy an expensive home exercise machine, consider a “wooden coat rack.” It costs $40, uses no electricity and does the exact same thing.

16. There’s the yoga instructor everyone loves, and the yoga instructor everyone hates. Memorize who they are.

17. If you see an indoor rock climbing wall, you’re either in a really cool gym or a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson.

18. Be cautious about any class with the words “sunrise,” “hell,” or “Moby.”

19. If a gym class is going to be effective, it’s hard. If you’re relaxed and enjoying yourself, you’re at brunch.

20. If you need to bring your children, just let them loose in the silent meditation class. Nobody minds, and kids love candles.

21. Don’t buy $150 sneakers, $100 yoga pants, and $4 water. Muscle shirts are for people with muscles, and rhythm guitarists.

22. Fancy gyms can be seductive, but once you get past the modern couches and fresh flowers and the water with lemon slices, you’re basically paying for a boutique hotel with B.O.

23. Everyone sees you secretly racing the old people in the pool.

24. If you’re at the point where you’ve bought biking shoes for the spinning class, you may as well go ahead and buy an actual bike. It’s way more fun and it doesn’t make you listen to C+C Music Factory.

25. Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.

26. A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it’s good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it’s not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.

27. There is no secret. Exercise and lay off the fries. The end.

Where’s my infomercial and best seller?

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203471004577140900388728374.html

Advertisement

Explore posts in the same categories: Uncategorized